Behind the Line

I am not a curmudgeon. O! No! This is not cribbing.

Smile! Look them in the eye! Greet well!

Smile…..Greet………Thank them for their business. Smile…… Be Professional…….Don’t slouch.

Really? But do they train you to smile just so much that you appear pleasing but not inviting. Join your lips together and lift up your chin and  make a crack in the lips but if you go so far as to smile so that your eyes light up, then a few flirts on the other side of the ‘teller line’ assume that they have met their match. No, they don’t specify all that in the training. You just learn it on the job.

I invite you to come to my side. Behind the teller line.

I love you when you bring straight Deposits but why do you have to split money into two checking accounts and one savings and then want cash back too?

The crease that graced my lips disappears from there and forms at the center of my forehead when you realize that you wanted to buy a gift card using your checking account when I have just ended your session on my computer.  If I ask you to swipe your card one more time to pull up your account, I run the risk of the manager telling me to be more attentive in future in her nasal voice.

Smile!  Be Professional!

And you! my customer, you show so much exasperation as if this is the only place you can get all the customer service today.  You know you will not get it in a restaurant where you will wait 45 minutes to get seated and still feel happy and smile at your server and leave him a fat tip.

“How are you today and how can I help you?” Sometimes, you just mumble something in response. Isn’t there a training for customers on how to respond to good customer service?  Look me in the eye and acknowledge my presence. If I ask how is it outside, don’t tell me, what do I mean by that. Because I really haven’t been outside in four hours unlike my colleague who smokes and goes out every hour.  Ah! I should cultivate some bad habits.


And lady, I know you are lonely, but don’t overdo with your “I like this place. Smells good.”  I was merely making you happy when I remarked that I like your sweater. And yes I can see  the pine trees and the reindeer and the sequenced snowflakes. Please don’t explain your pattern to me. What? You are buying it for your niece? Oh, she will hate you for that. Don’t you realize, there is too much going on that little piece of wool. What you are carrying around on your chest is what I have been seeing in all stores since November.

Lady, I am not lonely,  just cranky. So finish your transaction and leave me alone to smile……….greet……… professional.

Am I a curmudgeon?

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